


Bitter Sweet

by TheGirlWhoWearsBlack



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Carrie/Spencer, FBI Academy, Families of Choice, Flashbacks, Gen, Grown Up Carrie, Hurt/Comfort, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Protective Emily Prentiss, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:13:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25640386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlWhoWearsBlack/pseuds/TheGirlWhoWearsBlack
Summary: “I can take her.”“Take her?” Hotch asked with notorious confusion across his face though he didn’t stop collecting the case files from the messy table.“Carrie.” Emily answered, no hesitation. “To D.C.”“You mean to live with you?”“Yeah.”“Why would you want to do that?” The man insisted in a more serious tone.“I have room, money, and you know, she’s smart.” She continued to explain as if it was the obvious thing for her to take that stranger teen in. “2, 3 years, she goes to college.”Hotch stopped his actions and for the first time looked at Emily in the eye. “Prentiss…this is the job, and I need to know that you can be objective.”“And I need to know that I can be human.”
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If Emily Prentiss had taken Carrie Ortiz with her to D.C.  
> Set six years after the events of "Children of the Dark".  
> Some chapters will be flashbacks to early stages of Emily and Carrie's relationship.
> 
> This is me trying new things.  
> Thanks for giving it a go!  
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Kisses,  
> Andie.

Emily paced the living area of her loft anxiously, trying to make sure that everything was going according to plan. She stopped to take a look at the wall-clock checking the time.

Where was everyone else?

It was getting late and there was no cake, no snacks, special mix-tape and no guests.

As she shook her head disapproving of the lateness of her friends, her eye caught the ‘ _ Happy Birthday’  _ banner tilting to the left side instead of being perfectly centered at the supporting beam. She scowled and cursed under her breath several times as she climbed back on the coffee table at the center of the room to reach the banner and fix it. The apartment was filled with the effort growls that came from Emily’s mouth.

Everything had to be perfect. Absolutely perfect. She had been planning the evening for almost two weeks, which was a lot for Emily Prentiss to commit to something. She was used to being a guest, not a host but tonight, she was going to switch her role just for her.

_ Ding dong. _

“Come in! It’s open.” Emily shouted when she heard the doorbell ring.

The birthday banner was not properly hanging still, and if she moved, the whole thing was going to come down and she would have to put it up again from scratch which was going to take more time and effort.

The door opening was announced with its signature cracking. 

Emily had the money to pay someone to fix it, even Derek offered to do it for free after being annoyed by the sound after a dinner night at her place, yet she refused to make the cracking go away. In fact, she liked the cracking noise, it meant that no one could get through her front door without alerting her thanks to the racketing. She was always fearful of someone ambushing her at her own home. Emily had been involved in many sketchy things in the past due to her job as an undercover agent, and even though the man of his nightmares was already dead, she still was afraid.

It didn’t matter that she had top of the line security system, or multiple hidden guns; the cracking door felt necessary too.

“Need some help?”

Emily glanced at Spencer Reid who stood awkwardly watching her struggle. He was carrying a mediocrely wrapped box with a very crooked bow, his trusty satchel hanging on his right shoulder.

“Do you mind?” Emily said, sarcasm dripping from her words. “Please.”

Spencer left the box over the bar that separated the kitchen from the living room and went towards her colleague. He was taller than her, thus it was easier for him to reach the banner, though he had to climb to the coffee table as well. Emily got off the table and receded a couple of steps to check if the banner was centered the ways she liked it.

“A bit higher.”

“There?” The guy asked, trying to raise it a bit more. Once he saw her nodding, he secured the string tightly and jumped off the table, took a few steps back to admire his work. “It’s really nice, Em. Carrie’s going to love it.”

“You think?” She responded not even looking at him. The woman grabbed a rag and cleaned the table where they both had stood up seconds later. “I don’t have a single creative bone in my body, I had to check the internet for ideas. I hope it’s not too cheesy.”

Spencer chuckled softly and padded his friend’s shoulder.

“It’s fine.”

The doorbell ranged once more, this time, Spencer took the liberty to open it while Emily kept supervising all the last details in the decorations. Suddenly, the empty apartment was filled by the rest of the Behavioral Analysis Unit team.

“Nice!” Morgan clapped once as he took in the cheerful environment at Emily’s otherwise bland and sober home.

Emily’s apartment was all neutral colors with minimalist décor, however, for this special occasion, she went out of her way to make sure the space looked festive. The ceiling was covered with pink and silver balloons filled with helium, plus the banner, a serpentine wall, Christmas lights (that she saw was considered as a ‘cool thing’ on the internet) and other classic birthday souvenirs like hats and party blowers.

Maybe she was going a little overboard but she firmly believed it was worth it.

Morgan placed two wrapped boxes and a gift bag over the bar with Spencer’s gift. It took longer for him to settle them than for Emily to grab them and relocate them at the TV stand in order to make space at the bar for the food she already knew JJ and Penelope were going to bring. Spencer and Morgan exchanged looks when they saw her doing that without even greeting her newly arrived guests.

Emily didn’t mean to be rude, she was just a little stressed.

“Sorry we’re late.” JJ apologized, making her way to the kitchen so she could set the snacks over the recently cleared bar. “Will got caught up at work and Henry’s regular nanny wasn’t available…”

As usual, everyone carpooled with JJ’s car since Will offered to act as their chauffeur provided that he preferred doing that than risking the group driving themselves to their houses or taking a cab after a night of drinks. This night was no exception.

“It’s ok, no worries. She’s isn’t here yet.” Emily responded with fabricated optimism. “Where’s the cake? Oh.”

Her words were cut off when she spotted her boss Aaron Hotchner carrying the pink box, where she assumed was the cake, to the kitchen.

“Sir.”

“No ‘sir’ tonight, Emily.” He added with a soft beam, surprising, considering Aaron Hotchner barely smiled.

Both Morgan and Hotch dedicated their attention to unboxing the cake without messing the buttercream. They were skilled profilers and fighters, nonetheless, it seemed like a cake was going to defeat them this time. Emily marched in their direction and forced them out of her way so she could take out the cake herself, she had been watching them for the past five minutes and the cake was still inside that dumb box. She couldn’t afford to waste more time. The two men stepped back and went to the living space, they figured they would help a lot more by not interfering.

Garcia tried to join the kitchen space; she could barely walk in her high heels while balancing the big gift bag hanging from her arm and the snack tray in her arms. Spencer approached to help her by taking the tray off and placing it by JJ’s. Once all the food was settled, she made her way into Emily’s audio system to put on the special playlist she made for Carrie.

Just by doing that, the environment actually began to feel like a party.

Rossi was already uncorking the first bottle of wine of the night and pouring some at Emily’s fancy glasses, he gave the first one to the host.

“Looks like you need it.” The old man joked offering the glass to the woman at the same time he squeezed her very tense shoulder.

Emily chuckled and accepted the wine, she held it high, silently saying ‘cheers’ and took a sip. As usual, Rossi was right. It was just what she needed.

Tonight was supposed to be a fun night, for everyone to unwind a bit and celebrate a dear friend. It was only then that she made sense of how stuck up she had been behaving ever since her friends arrived.

She clicked her tongue and tilted her head, tensing the bottom of her lip. “I’m sorry guys, I’m just a bit nervous about this whole thing.”

“Nervous? Why?” JJ questioned raising a brow at the same time that she handed Rossi her glass for him to pour some wine in it. “I mean, I get that it’s been a while since you’ve seen her…”

“Try a year.” Emily interrupted her friend pursing her lips before taking another sip of her drink.

“Wow, it’s been a year already?” Penelope said in shock, her furrowed brow and dancing eyes indicated she was trying to do the math.

“Actually it’s been 319 days.” Spencer announced matter-of-factly. “So, 10 months and 16 days, considering February only has 28 days.”

Everyone stared back at Reid. It didn’t matter how much time they’ve known him, it was still amazing for each one of them whenever he said stuff like that.

“You’ve been counting?” Morgan scrounged, taking a seat at the couch. He crossed his arms and soon the scowl on his face turned into a smirk. “Oh shit, yeah, I forgot you have a crush on her.”

“I don’t-” The young man tried to defend himself. “Shut up!”

“What?” Emily glared at them.

No answer. Hotch bit his lip trying not to laugh but didn’t dare to say anything on the matter either. They all exchanged uncomfortable looks before Emily shook her head and switched the topic.

“Anyways…”

“I don’t get why you’re so worried, Prentiss.” Morgan said as if it wasn’t such a big deal. “It is not like all of a sudden she’s not going to love you anymore.”

Emily sighed and trumpeted her lips as she let her own body fall into the place by Morgan’s side at the couch. He immediately wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“It’s been a year since I last saw her.”

“Ten months, 16 days…”

“Reid.” Hotch shut him up, then looked back at the black-haired woman who nervously tapped her nails (or lack off) on her glass. “Carrie went to France, Emily, not to space.”

“Yeah, pumpkin.” Garcia added, shrugging her shoulders. “She’s not going to be a different person. She’ll be the Carrie we all know and love, just with a better insight of who she is, and probably a boyfriend.”

The team cracked a laugh and Emily momentarily felt better.

They were all right.

Ever since she brought Carrie to D.C. after that terrible case in Denver, Colorado in which her parents and little brother were murdered, Carrie Ortiz became a very important part of her life. She made the decision to take her in out of an impulse to feel something, something good after watching all of the horrors of the daily job. 

She also witnessed firsthand how tough some kids in the foster system had it.

In the few days she met Carrie, she realized how smart, strong and determined she was. Plus, she was already 16, which meant the hard part of raising a kid was over. Carrie was responsible and mature. Emily could not bring herself to let her enter the foster system, not when she had the means to help provide her a safe space and everything she needed to succeed in life.

A year and half later, she was going to go to college and that was going to be it.

That’s what Emily naively believed.

After living with Carrie, laughing with her, helping her study, going shopping, comforting her, worrying about her when she went out…it became clear that Carrie entered her life to stay. And she couldn’t be happier about it.

They had a special bond. It was beyond being Carrie’s sponsor, as she considered herself to be. Even if Emily never got to officially adopt her, she felt like they were family.

“So, not that I’m not thrilled that Carrie is coming home, but why is she coming back? I thought she was happy in la France.” Rossi emphasized the country by imitating the French accent. “Is she ok?”

“Oh yeah.” Emily answered and shook her hand trying to rest seriousness to the question. “She just thinks it’s time for her to settle.”

“Settle?”

“Don’t worry, pretty boy, I doubt she means getting married.” Derek teased Reid, who rolled his eyes and disappeared into the kitchen. “Right?”

“Right. You know Carrie. She’s smart, responsible, determined, and a bit greedy. She just wants to get a steady job, her own place and boost her career.”

“Sounds like someone I know.” Hotch pointed at Emily with his chin.

She laughed and bobbed her head agreeing with her boss. She could only imagine how much more Carrie would be like her if she had lived more time with her.

“She’s going to stay here?” Rossi questioned.

“Yeah, I mean her room is untouched. She can stay here as much as she wants until she gets her own apartment.”

“The place looks amazing, Emily.” Penelope spoke, taking the conversation in a completely different direction. She couldn’t help it, she had been looking around for every detail in the place and it urged her to say something. “Are more of her friends coming?”

“Nah. All of them are out of town. Only that girl, Paisley is coming.”

“Oh, she’s the one picking Carrie up at the airport, right?”

“Yep.”

After answering JJ's inquiry, she focused on the clock. It was only a few minutes away from the time she calculated the girls to arrive. Almost on cue, her phone rang indicating she had a text. It was from Paisley, letting her know they were around the corner from the building.

The little relaxation she was able to achieve by chatting with her friends was gone and she went back to full on perfectionist mode. She stood up, placing her glass on the table.

“Alright people, she’s near!”

Spencer jogged back to the living area only to be greeted by Emily handing him a party hat. The rest was already wearing one. Penelope killed the music so it wouldn’t give away that there was something going on. The seven went near the corridor that faced the door and awaited.

“Shhh.” Emily insisted on trying to shut them up.

A few seconds later, she was able to hear some wheels from luggage at the hallway, voices and giggling.

Emily felt her heart racing.

Finally.

The only thing that separated her from Carrie was a door.

The clacking of the keys hitting the doorknob got mixed with the door’s signature cracking as it opened wide revealing who was on the other side.

“Surprise!” 


	2. Chapter 2

The shining rays of light, courtesy of the sun, made their way toward Carrie’s room, straight to her face. She growled and pulled the covers up in an effort to shield herself from the blinding sunlight but failed going back to sleep. It was too late. The damage was done and she cursed multiple times to her last-night-self for not closing the curtains properly before going to bed.

  
The previous day she had quite a travesty in order to get home. First, she took a train for four hours and thirty minutes from Annecy, where she had been living for the past ten months, to Paris in order to catch her flight. Then she waited three more hours at the airport for the departure. Carrie hated waiting at airports, but she didn’t want to risk her flight, thus sticking around was her best option. Once she got on the plane, she spent nearly twelve hours on the air.  
‘Tired’ was an understatement.

  
When she got home, to the apartment she shared with her, tutor, sponsor, friend, mentor, Emily Prentiss, she was greeted by all of Emily’s friends (and hers by addition) and a party. At first, she wanted to strangle Emily but then she realized how much effort she probably had to put in in order to make things happen. It was so thoughtful and sweet. The decorations, the music, the food, everything was spot on.

  
It didn’t matter how tired she was, or even if her birthday was not until the following day, the fact that Emily went out of her way to organize a party for her, was heartwarming.  
Seeing everyone again was also really nice. The last time she saw the team was under very tense circumstances she even dreaded to recall. The BAU was for her the extended family she never had: Uncle Hotch, Grandpa Rossi (though he doesn’t have to know), Older brother Spencer, Cool Uncle Morgan, Auntie JJ, and Cool Auntie Penelope Who Insists on Being Call ‘Cousin’ Cause She Isn’t ‘That Old’.

  
When she signed up to go to live with Emily Prentiss, a FBI agent she barely knew, six years before, she never thought how close and real the relationship they would have was going to be. Less, how much Emily’s friends would care about her. All of them got involved in her life one way or the other.  
Carrie remembered of a time when she thought that moving to Washington with a complete stranger seemed like a crazy, impossible idea nonetheless, in the present time, she could not imagine life without Emily. Hadn’t SSA Prentiss stepped up to take her in, she would’ve ended up at a foster home for two years before being left on her own.  
Thanks to Emily, Carrie was able to finish high school keeping her straight A’s record. She was also able to afford going to Brown to pursue a major in Art History and a minor in Hispanic Studies. But most importantly, she had the opportunity to feel like she wasn’t completely alone in the world. She had someone there for her, a newfound family she didn’t ask for but that the universe gave her after losing her biological one.

  
To this day, Carrie didn’t know exactly what Emily saw in her that made her choose to take care of her.  
But boy, she was thankful for it.

  
Her phone beeped making her throw the covers off her face and check the screen, which was blowing up with text messages from her friends wishing her a happy birthday. A soft, dumb smile formed in her face at all of the love she was receiving. Even those friends sending her birthday wishes were there thanks to Emily. Those were people she met at her high school in D.C., at Brown and in Annecy. Most people of her pre-Emily era disappeared, mainly because some dumb fear of somehow being related to the girl whose family got murdered.

  
Carrie lingered in bed gathering strength to stand up. Her head pounded, she had a dried mouth and was starving to death. Though those were typical signs of hangover, she was completely sure that the night before she stopped herself from getting drunk. It didn’t matter that she was 23 years old, it still felt weird to drink with the BAU. After deliberating with her own thoughts, she stated that it was more of a tiredness hangover rather than an alcohol hangover.  
She finally got out of bed, wrapped her robe around her body, covering her silk set of pajamas that consisted in a booty short and a noodle-strap blouse, then exited her room and dragged herself to the kitchen.

  
“Hey.” Emily greeted her, looking over her shoulder.

  
“Good morning.”

  
Emily tilted her head and pointed to the wall-clock, marking that it was past noon. Carrie grimaced when she saw the time, though being fair, the prior day she traveled from France to the States and then spent the night drinking and catching up with the BAU. If someone was allowed to sleep till noon was her.

  
“Good afternoon.” She corrected herself with a little smirk at the same time she poured coffee in her favorite yellow mug. After all that time, Emily still kept it. She placed two loafs of bread in the toaster and sat at the bar. “So, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

  
“Nah, Hotch gave us the entire weekend, Friday included. We just spent two weeks out of town working a very disturbing case.” The oldest woman explained, she got chills from recalling that case. “You probably don’t want to hear about that. There are some pasta leftovers in the fridge, or, we can go out to eat lunch.”

  
“Brunch. And sounds like a plan.”

  
Carrie took a sip of her coffee, and spread some butter over the recently made toast, along with strawberry jam.  
Emily stood from the couch where she was sitting and joined Carrie at the bar. She had missed her so much, and now that she was back to her, Emily felt that they weren’t enough words. The birthday party she threw for Carrie the day before went great, the only problem was that she spent more time being a host and chatting with everyone else that they got barely enough alone time to talk with each other.

  
“So, what’s the plan?”

  
“Huh?”

  
“Yeah, are you applying for jobs at galleries? Museums? Because my mom has a couple of friends at the Smithsonian that can put word in for you.”

  
Carrie raised her brows with incredulity when Emily suggested that her mother could use her influences to get her a job. Emily despised being Ambassador Prentiss’s daughter, mainly due to people assuming that her accomplishments were basically a product of her mother’s status.

  
“About that…I’ve been meaning to talk to you regarding my career path.”

  
“Did we choose the incorrect major?”

  
Emily asked, biting the bottom of her lip fearing that Carrie now had second thoughts about what she chose to pursue. If she wanted to study something else, she was going to support her, nonetheless, it didn’t mean she wasn’t a little bum about it.

  
“We chose the correct major. I love Art History, you can breathe now.” Carrie joked when she saw Emily’s face turning paler by the second.

  
“Alright, then what is it?”

  
Carrie filled her lungs with air, then exhaled deeply in an attempt to gather as much courage as possible. “I want to join the FBI.”

  
“No way.”

  
“Excuse me?”

  
“No way you are joining the FBI.” Emily sentenced as if those words were final.

  
She got off the stool and crossed her arms over her chest, analyzing the young woman in front of her. This was something she did for a living; reading through people’s facades; for the micro-expressions in Carrie’s face, Emily could tell she was not joking. She actually meant it when she said she wanted to be an FBI agent.  
When did that happen? How? Why? What made Carrie think that joining the FBI was a good idea?

  
“I’m sorry Emily but you can’t tell me what to do or not to do. I’m 23 years-old, legally capable of taking my own decisions and in the age range to join the FBI.” Carrie explained calmly, she only wanted Emily to understand where she was coming from, not to start a fight.

  
“You live under my roof, thus you need to follow my rules.”

  
“Really? Are you pulling that card on me?” Carrie’s words dripped with disbelief at Emily’s old-fashioned, motherly excuse. “If that’s an issue I think Paisley can take me in her apartment.”

  
Emily stared at her. When did she grow up enough to be able to suddenly choose to put her life at risk by joining the Bureau? How did it happen? Carrie knew more than anyone else how hard, complicated and demanding it was to work within the FBI.

  
For God’s sake, she lived with a Special Agent who had to do terrible things to survive because of her job.

  
“I only told you because I care about you, and I think you deserve to know what I am up to.”

  
Carrie rose from her seat and shook her head with lingering incredulity. She receded into her bedroom’s direction.

  
“Why? Why do you want to join the FBI?” Emily yelled, catching Carrie’s attention. “You can have a great career in the Art industry. Maybe you want to study something else?”

  
“No, I don’t want to study something else. I want to be a FBI agent. I want to help people the way the BAU helped me back then. The way you helped me.”

  
“Carrie, you know how dangerous working for the FBI can be. I can’t imagine putting you at risk because of a job.”

  
“I am capable of taking care of myself. And I will get the same training you did.” Carrie scoffed. She breathed deeply inhaling and exhaling to try to regain her cool and have a civilized conversation. “I just want to be like you. You have no idea of how much I admire what you do…you save lives, you help people and put away the bad guys. You inspired me, Em.”

  
Emily’s jaw dropped a few inches while she searched for words to answer, the issue was that she had none. At least none of the words she was certain Carrie wanted to listen to. She shut her eyes, pressing her lids hard in an effort not to cry.

  
She wasn’t even sure of why she was this upset. It was a strong feeling that came from deep inside of her. It was cheesy to think about it as ‘maternal instinct’ regardless of that being exactly the issue. Emily swore to herself, and to Carrie (although she wasn’t aware of it) that her main focus was to keep her safe, to protect her. Allowing her to join the FBI was going against everything she wanted for Carrie.  
The fact that Carrie’s primary incentive was to be like her, made Emily’s heart ache the most. She wasn’t the person Carrie thought she was. If anything, Emily wanted Carrie to be better.

  
“You’re not me.” Emily pleaded with a cracking voice. “Nor you should want to be like me. I’ve done and witnessed tons of things I would never wish anyone else to experience, you less than anyone.”

  
She expected Emily not to be thrilled, however she hoped that she would come around it once she really saw how much she wanted it. Perhaps it was a matter of time.  
Carrie stared at Emily’s features. She truly seemed to be abashed by the news. For a split second she felt bad about the whole situation.

  
“Don’t do this, Carrie.”

  
“I already have.” She responded with a sad beam. “That’s why I came back yesterday. I got my first interview on Monday, psychometric examination on Wednesday and physical test on Friday.”

  
Emily couldn’t help but to snort at Carrie’s revelation. Of course that was the reason she wanted to come back to D.C. in a hurry, enough to spend her entire birthday traveling.  
She added to the list of things that pained her, that Carrie kept it a secret until the very last minute.

  
The two stared at each other’s faces, expecting the other to show any sign of remorse or weakness first. Unsurprisingly it was Carrie who broke by rubbing her hands against her face as a sign of stress. She gave Emily one last look before going to her room, slamming the door behind her.

  
Seven years.

  
Emily had taken Carrie in for seven years. For seven years she took care of her, protected her, paid for her school, meals, clothing, nurtured her, listened to her…Carrie believed Emily to be like a mother even if she had never said it at loud, and that was the reason she was disappointed by her reaction.

  
Carrie was aware that her last action didn’t help her case much, since it was reminiscent of a classic teenager tantrum. That was the consequence of treating her as such.  
She changed into more decent attire to leave the apartment and threw the few things she unpacked back to her suitcase. Carrie was aware that as long as she stayed in Emily’s home, she was going to hold it against her.

  
It did not matter what Emily had to say, Carrie planned on going through with being an FBI agent, though having the approval from the living person she cherished the most would’ve been nice.

  
When Carrie opened her bedroom door, it took Emily seconds to spot the suitcase in her hand.

  
“You’re leaving?”

  
“Yes. Not your roof, not your rules.” She paraphrased what Emily said earlier, not stopping for a second to look at her as she made her way towards the main door. “I’ll be at Paisley’s.”

  
“Doing this won’t make me change my mind. I still don’t support _this_.”

  
It was only then that Carrie glanced back at Emily.

  
“I’m sorry Em. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me, I really do. But that doesn’t mean I’m giving up being an FBI agent. I’m doing _this_ with, or without you. Your choice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> Hope you are enjoying this little story I'm putting up together.  
> Comments are very much appreciated. 
> 
> Love,  
> Andie.


End file.
